Five ways to Support someone trying to Lose Weight

In the world of ever changing nutrition knowledge, rising rates of obesity and large amounts of available fast food, it is tough to navigate and make healthy choices. The hardest thing is trying to make the changes but not having supportive family and friends.

They say you are more likely to be overweight based on your friends rather than your family! Why would this be? You eat a certain way around your friends. We all have the friends we drink with and eat bad food with and we have the friends that eat healthy, gluten free and watch what they drink. Family we don’t always take advice from or even care. But you’re also a reflection of the top 3-5 people you spend the most time with. Who do you find yourself spending more time with? Is this helping you or hindering you?

As a person who’s dieted over the years for not just bodybuilding shows but for healing health conditions and just plain wanting to feel better, it is upsetting when someone always has to comment on your food. They think they are helping but it can be frustrating.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is it tends to be their own insecurities or lack of understanding of you and why you want to change. Sometimes seeing friends change can be an inward reflection of their own self, their choices and their actions. That can be scary for some. You are growing and evolving as a person and they might not be. Remember the phrase “You can lead a horse to water”? Maybe YOU are ready for a change but your friends aren’t. Don’t let them stop you however. It’s your life and no one cares more about your health than you! “You look fine” was one of the most annoying phrases I would hear in preparing for a bikini show. Now that’s a little bit more of an extreme look but remember it’s not your journey, it’s mine.

Some people are not looking for weight loss but just want to feel better. Lack of sleep, energy, long days working, the stress of kids and activities is enough to knock anyone into chronic conditions. Wanting to change habits and fuel our bodies with good nutrition is key in long term health. What we put into our bodies has a direct impact on how we feel. Processed sugar and starches (60% of the American diet) makes us feel terrible. Anxiety, depression and a number of ever growing chronic conditions are brought on by these poor food choices.

If you, a friend or a family member are ready for change, go for it! You deserve a wonderful life to be happy and healthy. Here is my list that I’ve come up with for being a supportive friend or family member. Remember that every journey starts with one step.

Five ways to Support Friends/Family Trying to Lose weight:

1. Don’t Bully them into drinking alcohol, eating snacks or sweets

Don’t tell them “You can have just one.” Remember this is a direct reflection on how YOU are feeling. Your habits and insecurities about drinking, eating snacks or sweets should not reflect on other people. If they chose not to have something because they want to better their health, don’t make them feel bad about it because you want to do it. This isn’t high school, with peer pressure. If you care about them, respect them.

2. Order something Healthy with them!

If they are choosing to swap out beer or alcohol for club soda and lime or San Pellegrino, join them. If they decide to order a salad with the burger no fries or fish sandwich no bun, join them. Order the sashimi pieces for more protein and not just the giant rice filled sushi rolls. Chances are you want to better your health as well so friends can help friends make healthier choices. Be proud of them and proud of yourself too. Friends can lift each other up.

3. Don’t Question WHAT they are eating and WHY

If they have hired a nutrition coach, a personal trainer, or are following a book or any nutrition program, let them explore those options. You are not their coach and chances are you’re not a nutritionist either. They might be following specific guidelines or counting macronutrients. Additional questions like asking them “Why are you eating that beef instead of chicken?” or “Why did you order this instead of that?” are not up to you to decide.

4. Don’t offer Advice, only Support

A huge pet peeve is someone who thinks they need to throw their two cents in and they still have 50 pounds to lose or say that that did or didn’t work for them. Let your friend go on their own journey and empower them to learn and explore what works. Just because you’ve heard this and you’ve heard that doesn’t mean they want your opinion. That is also a way to bully them.

5. Offer to help them Cook or coordinate a Meal

The hardest thing is going from fast food to cooking at home and navigating healthy options. I remember spaghetti dinners and frozen pizza. Help your friend or family with a easy recipe that can replace old habits with new ones. Try spaghetti squash pasta for Italian night, and taco salads and crockpot chicken for Mexican night. Think of the fun you’ll have and money you’ll save!

Hopefully this sheds a little light into the psychology of how we feel and can make others feel in the aspects of dieting and nutritional habit changes. Perhaps you’ve been that person who’s questioned their decisions, thrown your opinions in and made them even more confused. Maybe you can see how they feel and take a step back. Let them try their plan, new coach, new workouts, new mindset and new journey. The best we can do is be that friend or family member that helps make a life better, not more stressful. Make them smile, make their day and be the supportive of whatever journey your loved ones embark on.

--Riannan Osborne,

Certified IIN Holistic Health Coach & AAFA Personal Trainer

Certified IIN Emotional Eating Psychology

E-Book Author: Food for you, Designing your own diet for Lasting Results, Eat Healthy for under $10 a Day, 10 Minute Chef, Feed the Muscle, not the Fat Cells